Is there any body out there?

My father and mother and countless others have told me the pointlessness of seeking fulfillment in relationships and sex with countless men (and a few women) but still I have hope and seek, even while married, that person who will make me feel like I am understood even as much as I misunderstand myself.
Does that makes any sense to you as you read it as It confuses me as I write it?  But that is precisely; what I mean. When I say “isn’t that a weird thought?” I want them to say, “yes it is! Let’s explore it!” and off we run in theoretical philosophy of nothingness, because nothing we think ever really matters, but the time we spend together making love with our minds, matters by universes.
I digress, my point was I keep searching for that someone who feels like they understand my mind; who’s touch melds with mine and love making is effortless passionate surreal bliss…But when I start talking to myself like this I am almost certain I have built up the whole idea of spirituality and sensuality to unreachable goals. I mean the whole idea of all the spiritual masters is that they get to a point of celibacy, don’t they?? Well sorry but that kind of SUCKS! I guess I am a long way off from being truly enlightened, unless they like me really just gave up on ever really finding anyone they connected with….

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