I did it. It has been a few weeks now to really think about all I said, but I actually clearly articulated how I feel about the universe and everything in it in relation to God and good vs evil.
I don’t think most people could handle it, or even care. The two people I was explaining this to were drunk, and or stoned so probably don’t remember. One was a young impressionable girl who has been like my daughter for almost twenty years. The other was a man about my age (whom the girl has a crush on and I think they have a bit of a relationship). My concepts were taken into consideration by the girl, she is always level headed; but the man went a bit gaga. I was glad he understood and liked my philosophy but I did not think it warranted groping me. I allowed a bit, and even teased with a slight taste from my finger, but no matter how much someone admires me, if I do not feel the draw to have sex with them it isn’t going to happen. I was very proud of myself for not letting my hypersexuality direct my actions.
  It was awesome to hear some say, “you just wreak sexuality, it shoots off you like lazer beams” (& without the frequent frustration my husband has in his voice). I prefer to think of it as sunshine and said as much. I was dressed pretty drab in a long grey prairie dress, it was flattering but not “sexy” so I was a bit surprised to still get this reaction from men all day. Is it any wonder my classic narcissism is fed to the point I believe myself to be some kind of sex goddess, a daughter of Venus, or Lilith?
I try to be humble, but at the same time, I am growing more confident in saying ,”yes I know you want to have sex with me and yes, I know it would be amazing” (I sometimes whisper “at least for you” in my thoughts) but I don’t feel a desire to have sex with….well…lesser frequency spirits? Isn’t that awful???  My husband is such, sex is awesome and amazing, he touches me everywhere now, but as much as he says “we have such a connection” when I feel deeply, I feel he has no idea and could not fathom the depth of my sensations and emotions and how they are tied but I try not to go so deep when with him to avoid those feelings of disappointment…he still sees through me sometimes. He thinks I am disappointed in his provisions for the family, his sexual prowess, or other stuff that doesn’t matter to me because those things I am responsible to change if I want. I can’t change his perceptions of loyalty, charity, love…so he will never really see the light in my soul. I will always have a light that feels like darkness to those who are not as resigned to the Divine.
The Divine, he, she, it…the Holy Trinity, Father, Son, Holy Spirit. The energy that created all there is and breathed the Qi into each of our cells the moment we are conceived by Divine design. None of us is a mistake, every life is the Divine’s to give and take. This life is our experience to bring to the whole. Everything I think & do effects the collective. Everything you do…the butterfly effect is real beyond our conception, down to our thoughts and emotions. We are all connected through Divine energy, we strive to return to that energy state where we don’t feel separated from each other, from God. Our spirits know this, but we fight, we deny, Ego wants the power, Independence, Ego thinks Id is the creator and anytime we feel the rug pulled out from under Ego we despair, we flee or fight harder. Wake-up, please. You, I, world leaders, starving children, we are all one. We come from the same place and will return there in the end. All that matters in this place is to love each other. Have compassion for each other for our own sake! Everyone is special. Everyone has a unique experience that is both heaven and hell on earth. YOU SUFFER, in your own experience that no one can understand through their own knowledge, but if we open our spirits up, we can understand each other through understanding ourselves, for we all belong to the collective Divine and everything we think and do goes into that ethereal realm that flows throughout creation.
Love each other beyond all else. Love deeply, love fully, give each other what we need to live in peace and love.


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