Yes, I am stoned.

The only reason to torture yourself with bazaar fermented health foods is because you actually start feeling better and hearing what your body has been SCREAMING AT YOU about how sick it is from the abundance of crap we eat! My appetite has gone to like nil. I force myself to eat yoghurt with homemade kefir and honey and lime (this combination is the best thing in the world to me right now!) After that I cleanse my palate with Kombucha that my son ferments. My body feels so much better and in a few hours I can eat a real  meal…I have loosed forty pounds of fat and can feel my adrenals and hormones getting better…I have to stay on top of my physical therapy exercises to keep moving and toning muscle but cannabis helps me do that or I would be an utter sloth.

I am cleaning out my closet yet again but with the last unsuccessful  attempts to create space and actually be able to see what I own, I am being extremely brutal with myself getting rid of stuff. I can still say there is less that most women I know have; however there is still too much that I feel like a “spoiled American”. I give myself grace living in a mountain region in which a variety of weather changes requires at least as many warm/hot weather cloths as it does chilly and freezing weather protection.
Add into the weather woes any inclination that I have different personalities with a variety of styles and tastes from the artsy hippie chic to Ms. Cosmopolitan, Cali river rat, and the most conservative girl-next-door, and a little nod to my goth girl, they all want to be expressed. All need to be alive and feel life through different eyes…how will people look at me, react to me, and how will I feel? Ok maybe I am weird…

I was going to post all that on Facebook for friends and family and then I think wait.. too long…and they really don’t give a shit (I probably wouldn’t) or those who do will care too much and respond with ASININE clichés that I don’t need to hear. It doesn’t matter in the big picture it is my life and I have a dumb need to express it to something. I love to pick apart my behavior and question why I feel and do the shit I do…cloths food drinks sex…we all do everything with something guiding us consciousness or instinct, what drives us?

Ouch, I think I just hurt my brain…time for a shower wash away all the thinking and just feel…


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