More writing.

Am thinking I should take up the #dailypost or #weeklypost challenge now that the divorce is over and my darling ex can’t be an asshole trying to use my creative writing against me –but he always has, “lie to me”: “that story was too good, it had to be real”, yet he still wonders how I can love him and hate him at once. Recovery is a long process. Recovery from a lifelong relationship, is it even possible? I have figured out that while recovery is important, most people don’t understand. Should they be happy or sad for the divorce?  If I tell them why I am happy, they seem more confused because it is hard to believe a person in an abusive relationship would try and tolerate the situation for 25 years. That is a symptom of abuse: codependency, enmeshment, self-doubt, and using religion as both a crutch and Scape goat; when no one else understands, religion says God does. When the world says get out of abuse, most religions say you deserve it; you need to be better then bad things won’t happen to you; pray it away, be strong and holy and God will take the abuse away.

God has given us many instructions for taking care of ourselves. Standing firm in a divine good will, respecting that each of us is equal in the big picture. So “breaking a generational curse” is one of these things Christians say you have to do if your parents were divorced, IE:as studies show children of divorced parents are more likely to be divorced to be more “holy” I should have to stay in a marriage that crushes me and just hope that before i die it becomes what i dream a relationship should be like. But wait, my parents divorced, but my grandparents stayed married each of my grandfathers passing a decade before my grandmothers.However, by the time my grandfathers past my grandmothers were in there late 70’s most of their free will had been stript. My paternal Grandmother was bless to get remarried to a very dear friend with whom they had spent a lifetime being friends and neighbours and raising kids together. Our families already felt related so it was easy to accept the geriatric union. Grandma never disparaged my biological grandfather, but she hinted that my step-grandfather was much more suited to her (and they were adorable spooning at nap time!).

So which “generational curse” do i break? Divorce or rotten marriages? I think I like the concept that generational curses should be kept to the scientific data that a parents alcoholism, obesity, and life choices leave genetic markers on the off-spring that make the child more likely to be diabetic or have a weak system for alcohol and other things.  When we face abuse and stop it happening to ourselves we make better marks on our physiology, and thus on those we give our genetic history to. Verbal history is important but falable.  Our life choices make physiological markers that we pass down. So what are you doing to your DNA?

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s