Whatever…should I let it depress me?

My analyst says I am addicted to being in love…like this is a bad thing? I love making people feel loved, and beautiful…I like feeling loved and beautiful and if I cant get that from anyone, then I figure I need to just give it to the people whom I see as beautiful…and I am a far deeper judge of inner beauty than outer beauty–but I think they go hand-in-hand: when a person has a good attitude, worthy self-esteem balanced by gratitude and graciousness they take care of their physical well-being as well as their mental. Beauty shines through on on levels.

I try to be beautiful in all those ways and I hear how special I am but I don’t believe I am any more special than anyone else. However, I do not understand degrading one’s self. Being drunken, belligerent,  loose and foolish for the sake of appearing “more relaxed”.  Why do we have to inebriate ourselves just to be honest with each other under the guise that “oh I was teasing!” or “I was drunk and didn’t mean it”?

My troubles come from wanting to be in love….to constantly feel the holy love of God/Divinity between each person I am in relationship with be it casual, sexual, pasionate, or companionship.  I dont understand the delineations why love has to be boxed in so many categories to hamper shame, pride, judgements and egos…get over it and allow people to love each other how they need to give and recieve love.

somebody love me for me, god does, but he didnt intend for me to ever be lonely or heartbroken.


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