Kinks & Fetishes

KINKS & FETISHES

My answers to

https://yoursexinterview.com/2020/06/19/kinks-fetishes-my-answers/

Question 1: Have you tried BDSM? How hard core did you get with it? Thoughts?

I played with it during my marriage, my ex was very Dominant. I have talked about it with friends (more experienced than me) but we have not had a chance to play together, hoping our time is coming soon. I am naturally submissive but am trying to embrace and express my very repressed dominant side. I like some sado-mascocism just because I like passion in its most primal form, which can get a bit rough.

Question 2: Have you tried a poly relationship or swinging? Would you like to? Thoughts?

I have always believed in poly. I frequently had/have more than one bf at time, (aside from the 20 years of monogamy). I like to think of it like one for each of my extremes, be sweet with this one and snarky with that one, guys don’t like how moody women are so women just need a different guy for every mood. WOW I just said that …okay moving on….swinging? Maybe, with the right people, hard to say…

Question 3: Have you been to an adult, clothing optional resort like Hedonism II? Would you like to? Would you go if your spouse wanted to?

I like to go to our quiet local hot spring which is clothing optional. Heaven on Earth. I would like to go to other nudist venues.

Question 4: Have you tried public or group nudity? (Nudist Colony? Nude bike ride? Nude beach? Skinny dipping with friends? Nude resorts? Other?) Would you you like to participate in any such activity?

I grew up pretty nudist, but my marriage was not, so yes, now that I have the choice, I want to try them all!

Question 5: Is there any other kink or fetish you have participated in? Or, any you wish to try or desire? Tell us about it?

Golden showers, shibari, roll play with and without costumes,cross dressing, pegging, food play, DP, MMF, FFM, FF; I am a “breeder” the idea of getting pregnant (yes again!) turns me on, as do so many many other things. As to what I have and have not tried, that’s for me to know and you to imagine.

Extra Credit: If you have any kinks or fetishes, can you tell us your thoughts on where the fetish might stem from? What might be the psychology behind the desire?

Pegging, to be able to fuck a man the way I want to be fucked and hopefully in a way he’d enjoy; to be given the trust and honour of his submission. To have the authority of a Queen over her man.

Secrets & Lies, my answers

https://yoursexinterview.com/2020/06/12/your-sex-questions-set-4-secrets-lies/

SECRETS & LIES

Question 1: Has anyone you known ever cheated on their significant other (behind their back) ? If so, tell us about the most scandalous. (were you there or how did you hear about it? How did you feel about it? Their significant other ever find out? They still together? etc.)

I have been witness to the outcomes of several different couples’ affairs. First hand to a couple. Three of the four I remember off hand ended in divorce and both parties happier in their next relationships.

My mom threw roses against my bedroom door, glass from the shattered vase skidding under the crack of the door just missing my stepfather on the other side; they divorced after two years. (I learned don’t fuck with my mom and that she’s a very jealous/insecure woman.)

On a river trip I watched one couple pull away from each other as the husband grew closer to a single girl in the group. Last night on the river they got caught and the whole camp was awakened by the wives screaming / arguing.

My poly views seem to taint my perspective because I always think, “so what?”

Question 2: What is your most scintillating sexual secret? Any naughty secret you will take to your grave? If you have no secret that you haven’t told anyone, tell us the naughtiest one that you’ve told the fewest about.

You didn’t answer this one… I kind of feel like I have already answered these in some of my other posts… It doesn’t feel like a secret, but I think few people correlate that most of my fantasy fiction stories are things I don’t think I would mind even in reality.

Question 3: What is the naughtiest secret you know about someone else? (friend, acquaintance, or friend of friend etc.)

I know adult children who deeply want to fuck their parents. Definitely a line I myself am not willing to cross.

Question 4: Do you keep anything about your sexual history secret from your significant other? (last or future if you are single) This could be number of partners, past reputation, a naughty act or encounter, crazy night, cheating, etc.)

Nope, open book, total transparency. If I don’t babbel it out on my own, all they have to do is ask.

Question 5: Do you talk about your sex life with any of your friends? What would shock or surprise them most to know about your sex life?

I talk, I kind of think that’s why I don’t have many friends; I choose them carefully. I can keep secrets, I just don’t like any of them to be about me…the few friends I do have and what they do know, really doubt anything about me would shock them.

Question 6: Do you do any flirting or anything naughty online or on your phone that your significant other doesn’t know about? (last significant other if you are single) – this might be porn watching, online relationship, chat rooms, texting an ex, sharing pics, phone sex, etc.)

All of he above and I mean, he doesn’t know every detail but I am pretty open and he knows the password (kids don’t 😏).

Question 7: Is there any secret that if you found out a significant other was keeping from you, it would be a deal breaker and you would break up with them?

I don’t like secrets. As long as there is honesty, I think I could forgive and work with anything. What I can’t live with is denial. Don’t deny me. Don’t deny yourself. I will keep unbiasly examining myself and be aware of my flaws, working to better them. I expect the same of anyone who wants my respect and affection.

Question 8: If you just happened to see a friend’s significant other kissing someone else outside a restaurant as you were driving by, what would you do? (tell friend? Talk to the significant other & get more facts? Keep mouth shut and stay out of it?)

I walked in on my dad’s boss’s wife straddling some other dude… I was visiting and had a baby on my hip but backed out that door pretty gracefully and went around to find my dad another way. I guess I was blushing, I told him right away and that couple was divorced shortly after, but I heard there were other reasons too…

Question 9: Is total honesty and openness the best policy in a relationship or are there some things that are better left not shared? (can you name a few?)

Yes, total transparency. I can only present myself as who I am. Maybe I am lazy, rude, selfish, but fuck! It’s a lot of work trying to hide things, hold pretenses, lie… If I am going to spend time with you, call you my friend, then I will be vulnerable. That’s not gonna happen unless I see and feel the same from you.

Question 10: Have you ever been hurt by a lie or secret (or by a serial liar or narcissist?) If so, what was one or two of their worst lies or secrets.

Read my blog. My above position stems from being lied to and toyed with. I am done with that shit.

Next! https://yoursexinterview.com/2020/06/13/turn-us-on-my-answers/

TURN US ON

Question 1: Describe something sexy that turned you on like crazy?

Primal. Campfire smoke mixed with a good manly body order makes me very hot. When my menstrual cycle starts blood turns me on. Seeing my bf bloody hand print on my sheets after some intense love making. I didn’t wash my sheets for a week just because that hand print gave me such Carmel delight and desire.

Question 2: If the reader was right in front of you right now, and you had to turn them on to save your life – you have five minutes to do so – what would you do?

Just be myself? I’d read the situation, the person, and I’m sure my instincts would lead me. Lick my lips? Soften my eyes? Or maybe I’d need to be teasing and dominantly playful?

Question 3: Reverse it – what could the reader do to most turn you on in 5 minutes?

Look at me. Study me. Make me feel like you want to know and experience every aspect of me. Touch me.

Question 4: Short answer the following about right now:

    • Horny (yes/no): yes
    • Wearing: short satin robe
    • Location (kitchen table, work, couch, kitchen, where): hideabed in the sun
    • Masturbate today (yes/no): with my bf so didn’t need too
    • Sex today (yes/no): yes
    • Happy, sad, neutral, lonely or depressed: yes, I have the capacity to hold all these emotions at once.

Question 5: Tell us a naughty secret that will turn us on, your choice.

I think the silliest naughty thing I like is playing with my pussy, I have taken video of pushing a toy elephant out my hole like he was coming from the jungle and I sometimes practice trying to be able to suck smoke from a pipe. I want to train my sex kitten to do all kinds of ticks!

Reality?

I feel like a piece of shit. My son has cancer. My son is dieing a slow painful death as he loses more and more of his intestines. I feel cold, callous, selfish…a bummer to be around. Our world can’t fix him…and I feel so broken and helpless.

Is this reality or is reality the part of me that says death is just a distant move. Would I feel the same loss if he moved to another country? When I moved away from my aging grandmothers, or other friends and family, I always missed them. I always felt (feel) guilty for not calling, or writing enough, for not being there to take care of them or even just maintain the connection we shared, but my grandmothers were understanding and loving and never made me feel too bad.

When people I love have died, natural or otherwise, my loss only changed slightly. I still feel the love we shared; I still have the good memories. I lose the ability to hear their voice or touch their physical, but I also loose the guilt. Now every thought of a lost loved one can bring me peace instead of frustration with circumstances. Is this selfish and cold of me, or just pragmatic realism?

I am not saying it doesn’t hurt. Watching my son suffer, is my suffering, and watching his strength in his suffering makes me feel unbelievably weak. Can physical and emotional pain even be measured against each other?

I think the loss that makes me saddest is in a superficial belief that once their physical is gone, will I lose the ability to connect with the spiritual of that loved one? My grandmothers, who primarily raised me, were my anchors of Love in this world. They each had lived long lives and so much that I could have learned from and things I wish I had asked, but I didn’t, because it wasn’t polite conversation.

As I watch my son die and I have so many questions, sometimes I push and he gets angry not wanting to communicate how he feels about dieing, if I am too negative in accepting death, while wishing it was mine and not his, but knowing he wouldn’t trade me places if he could.

My answers to Your Sex Interview:

Trial by Fire

Question 1: What is something you desire sexually that you will not tell your significant other? (if you’re single, what would you not tell your next partner?)

Well, he sometimes reads this so…. I guess in general I avoid sharing any thoughts on zoophilia…

Question 2: What is something a lover often did/does that you didn’t/don’t really like, but you didn’t have the heart to tell them it didn’t do it for you as much as they thought?

There are some weird things, using fingernails to pinch my nipples. Yes, I can feel it but a big pinch is better than a small one… Rubbing my clit frantically and not seeing that it is doing NOTHING for me. Really any one going through the motions and not READING THE BODY LANGUAGE response is the biggest turn off.

Question 3: What is the most embarrassing thing that you have thought about while masturbating lately? (the last month or two)

Threesomes, MMF specifically. Slowly licking or being licked, very thoroughly.

Question 4: What do you think is the hottest thing about you, or the hottest thing that you do from the perspective of those who have sex with you? (bonus: include the 2 or 3 hottest things)

I get turned on really easily. I like having sex in discreet but risky places (but also Clean!). I tend to be submissive and eager to please my lovers, anticipate their needs and satisfying them before they can even ask. When I’m in the heat my boundaries fade am very enthusiastic. I also squirt, a lot.

Question 5: What is something that you would do if it was more acceptable and nobody would mind or judge you for?

I would be naked in public far more, even if that just meant watering my yard, but also going to the store or post office, some days I just HATE getting dressed and I don’t see why people have such issues.

Things have gotten a bit weird around here but I need the outlet so I am going to answer or write what I can…

Firsts, my answers for https://yoursexinterview.com/2020/06/10/your-sex-questions-set-1-firsts/

Question 1: Describe the first time you experienced an orgasm with another person? (could be any kind of contact not necessarily intercourse)

He was my lover, an ongoing affair that brought me to my senses and out of abuse. He laid me down caressed my body from head to toe with his large hands being so light on my skin. He opened my legs brushed the length of my vulva and the slowly ran his tongue over every inch. So slowly. So lightly. Time was forgotten, I don’t know how long, not long, he caressed my labia with his tongue, inside, outside, up and down. When his tongue finally let his mouth settle over my clit the orgasm was soft and strong all at once, amazing. It totally side blinded me because I don’t have clitoral orgasms with people.

Question 2: Describe the time you first saw someone’s private parts? (in a romantic/sexual context)

I was molested at three. It wasn’t “tragic”. New daddy was kind and cuddled me a lot, I just refused to put where he peed from in my mouth😂😂 things change.

During grade 1 – 3, the little boy down the block and I would play mailman, doctor, and mommy/daddy. It was cute.

Mom showed me Playgirl (as art, who’s more handsome) and friends showed me other porn mags around that time.

I can’t remember when my infatuation with penis truly took hold, but I could look at and play with them for hours no matter the unique shape and size.

Question 3: What would you watch first if you were given a magic video library that included videos of every sexual encounter of every living adult on earth? (who, what, where, when, who with, etc.)

😂🤣 What a funny question! I think I would like to watch my parents when they conceived me. Yes, I would want to make a study of correlations between life experience and conception, starting with each member of my family.

Question 4: First sexual word/phrase that enters your mind in response to the following prompts:

    • Big: ? Dick
    • Hot: ? Pussy
    • Tempting: ? Perversion
    • People might think I’m a perv if they knew: ? I don’t know why they think that😂🤣😝
    • I wish I could: ? Have as much sex as I want.

Question 5: What is the first thing you would say if your significant other sat you down and asked if one of their friends could join you both for a three way? Yes! …. Wait who?

Hope you enjoyed my answers guess I am gonna be jumping the order now😝

Who am I? Who are you?

Who are each of us in the grand scheme of things?

Light and Dark are an inseparable One. From their Love and struggle to Love Separation was born. All things were spoken into existence, in a scream, the universe was shattered, the physical was manifested and the connection to the spiritual was stretched in a web of light. Each living thing a point of light. Each point of light contributing to a greater point of light. Between the light, inside the light is the shadow. Light expands my vision. Shadow reflects the truth of my vision.

Inside the physical female, from plant to animal, is the capacity, and deep desire of purpose for overwhelming expansion.

The physical male, seeks to be in the light, to cover, to burrow, to fill the light, which is the catalyst for expansion.

For the shadow to expand the light it is almost lost. For the light to expand it must give space to the shadow, allowing shadow to grow.

Every physical thing feels Separation, longs for spiritual connection, unity.

When I find a lover and feel connection, the deep constant longing subsides, diminishes, but is never gone because the physical is always an obstacle.

When I am pregnant the connection is so deeply spiritual, we are literally one being, and I can feel that being grow, the light expand inside me unto physical existence. Even after the birth, as Separation grows, the spiritual is stronger than the physical. The stronger the physical becomes, the more shadow and light expand, individuality blooms, my light is fractured, explodes, and falls in on itself as the web grows and the little light that was once lost in my light becomes its own bright point in the web.

Every soul, every child, every lover, fuel and fodder for my burning light and growing shadow. As am I.

I find it hard to explain any other way. Why my love is so deep and unconditional. Why my boundaries are so fluid. Why I see my flaws as blessings, and many of my blessings as flaws. What do my light and shadow expand in you, and what will yours expand in me? How much of our consciousness are we willing to share, and how unconscious are we still? How much time do we have to find out?

How long will what we see in each other keep pulling us in? Can we become blind to the Physical? Is there balance and peace living in the Spiritual where I see and feel our connection through the Light webbed in Shadow for eternity.

HIGHS & LOWS https://yoursexinterview.com/2020/06/13/your-sex-questions-set-6-highs-lows/

Question 1: Describe your worst all time sexual fail?

This is embarrassingly lame. Some app match. We had flirted, sexted, over the app a lot, had a car makeout session and were anxious to do the deed. He invited me to his place for dinner, drinks, and weed trimming, smoking. It was an inconvenient distance but he seemed kind of classy so I went for it. Turned out he had a female roommate? The house was a disgusting whirlwind of piled laundry and unorganized life. His roomie had a migraine so we were relegated to the bathroom, also a mess, I was given a cheap drink, snack foods and we trimmed while trying to flirt and finally I just let him bend me over as an excuse to get away and not leave him wanting because I was very happy to not hear from him again😂

Question 2: Hottest sexual experience with someone who you never dated? (doesn’t have to be intercourse) Could be a hookup, incident, interaction)

Five hour bus ride. Six people on the bus. We got on at six am, he and I sat in the very back of the bus, in different seats eyeing each other, by eleven I was sitting on rasta man’s lap with my dress pulled up, under the guise of looking over the dirt on the windows, and that was my first black man.

Question 3: One or two hottest things somebody has done or said – those moments that stick in your mind – the hot little highlights of your past? This could be something you just saw happen, or something you participated in.

There are so many! I am always wanting the unexpected? Being brought a single rose while at work, surprise visits, anything that really makes an impression on me hat this person genuinely puts thought into taking care of me for the simple reason they like/love me … Being told my pussy felt like heaven, was definitely a big one, but now I wonder if some guys don’t use it as a line.

Question 4: Describe your most interesting sexual height or extreme. This could be the time your got the most wild, did the naughtiest – longest, craziest, most over the top, most people involved, sluttiest, most sexual day – most partners in a day, your personal sexual Guinness record of some kind?

Three different cocks in a day is my record, and yes, it was hot and still turns me on.

Three people is the most I’ve ever played with at once, but there were four when my girlfriend was riding her beau in the front seat and I was riding mine in the back seat in a classic Mustang parked in the middle of a field on a starry Texas summer night. We gave each other high fives over the seat while riding our studs!

I don’t know how I messed up the fonts but I did and I am not gonna fix it so get over it. I am enjoying these, definitely get the writing juices flowing, and some others as well😻 what do you think?

DIVORCE

Suggested post from: https://yoursexinterview.com/2020/06/15/your-sex-questions-set-8-divorce/

Question 1: Did your divorce come suddenly after something happened or was it a while (or long time) in coming? Did you or your spouse put it off for too long do you think?

I waited for too long, kept trying to “fix” things. He was trying too but could never face the deeper sexual issues. He pushed my triggers and I pushed his back. He finally broke and filed, which did kind of surprise me, but was also a relief.

Question 2: Was the marriage ever good (or great) before things went bad?

It was magically romantical. I truly thought it would be a lifetime.

Question 3: Do you think it was a bad choice to ever marry them or were there no signs that anything could go wrong? (we hear of some who knew they had made a mistake on their wedding day).

We had eight children. We were committed to making it last, braking the cycle of divorce our parents had started.

I believed the marriage was “God Ordained and blessed”. Each child restored my faith and made me believe God could heal where we were broken individuals so we could be complete partners. I learned “healing” has to be wanted and it’s manifestation accepted; partners can heal and grow apart.

Question 4: Did you have sex with your ex before marriage? Sex with anyone else before marriage?

I had been with ten, maybe fifteen, people before the marriage. I didn’t see the red flag that him liking my experiences, and wanting to hear the stories retold repeatedly, while we were being intimate would be the crack in our foundation.

Question 5: How was sex with the ex? Was the sex good? Good and then diminished perhaps? Never great? Was sex important or not so important to you? How important was it to them?

The sex was great! I had dejevu one of our first times recalling a wet dream of being fucked just the way he was doing.

Even him being ten years older he kept up with me, our record was 27 times in less than 24 hours! He always wanted it hotter and nastier, and I grew accustomed to my “bad girl” fantasies being his big turn on.

The troubles came when he didn’t like the baby weight I gained and I wanted to make his dreams come true. I always thought what good is fantasizing about something that could be made real? But the reality of his “hot wife” fantasies was too much for him to face and I grew mentally unstable from being slut shamed between being gaslighted into “bad girl” behaviour.

Question 6: Have you had sex with your ex since divorce? Or, have either of you made any attempts to make it happen? Do you ever think about or miss making love with your ex?

Shortly after the seperation he did an underhanded move of setting up a fake account and friending me with the guise of setting up a three-way. The fake identity suggested I get with my ex to see if we could still be together. It was hot, hood-o-the-car sex under the stars. He was a dick as usual the next day, telling me what an adulteress slut I was wanting a three-way.

Then my first Thanksgiving away from the family I asked, begged, if I could have dinner with the family, (after 25 years of 24/7 parenting, I missed my kids with all my life). He said I could come for dinner if I would have sex with him. I did and it left such a bitterness in my soul, and his I think, that we never broach the subject and he can’t bare to even look at me when our paths cross.

Question 7: Have you had sex with anyone other than your ex since divorce? How was it? Better? Worse? Amazing? Grass wasn’t greener? Thoughts?

Because of the whole “hot wife” situation it wasn’t hard for me at all. I started going “steady” with the rebound just two months after the seperation. He was the perfect rebound, supportive, almost an identical cock, and enough of an asshole to remind me I didn’t want to be tied or monogamous anytime soon.

Finding my own mental stability, healing, choosing relationship with purpose and intent has definitely made the grass greener and the sex more amazing!

Question 8: If the sex with your ex had been amazing and your sex life had been satisfying in every way, would you have wanted to give it more time? Would you never have divorced perhaps? Do you think your ex would feel/answer the same?

I was willing to sacrifice so much of my well-being, I wanted it to last, I still seek therapy to remind me how unhealthy the relationship was and that my kids will be ok and survive him with my love to help them understand the aspects of living with him until they can get away too.

Question 9: Was it weird being sexually intimate with someone new after the divorce? If you haven’t been with anyone else yet, do you feel anxiety or hesitation about sex with someone new? Perhaps you’ve lost all interest in sex? Or, maybe you are enjoying masturbation and prefer to just stick with that?

Refer back to question #7

Question 10: When you first got divorced, how exited were you about the opportunity to have sex with someone new? Was it something you were looking forward to, or perhaps even one of the motivating factors for wanting the divorce?

I think questions 7 & 8 also covers this. I don’t like explaining what a “hot wife” is or drudging up the drama trauma an unstable partner can provoke.