I am in the mifdle of emotional crisis. I barely keep from sobbing and have this weird feeling it would take being pulled apart from the limbs to feel any worse pain than what my heart and head are trying to comprehend.
I left a 20+ yr marriage and 8 children because I felt abused and taken advantage of, because I never felt a kiss that could make it all disappear. That kiss is what I prayed for, all I want or need. I found it in this 35 yr old gigolo? ! He is a damaged soul carrying at least 3 or 4 pussies at a time. How he manages the rotation I can’t imagine. Why he needs that kind of validation I don’t understand. My soul soars when I am near him. My heart skips a beat when he comes to mind. Somehow I feel my salvation in his love….or in his healing…I will find mine. I want to bear his child and die young in his arms . The idea of not havimg that crushes me beyond any pain; I cry but I dont feel my body…I burn myself in the usual way and I feel nothing but this pain for him…I will confront him in time I will go to his house and cry and beg him to find some way t either love me or free me…I am so sorry I feel so desperate for him… I dont understand because he is so silent, so distant…but not in my arms…not when he takes a minute to just look at me. I am strong and a bit proud and I will lay down at this man’s feet and beg for scraps of attention… I cant imagine living with out that. What is wrong with me??